I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
