: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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