hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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