Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize