Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
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the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
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I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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