Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
