this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Is it because I queefed?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
