I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
