so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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