Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
