How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
