If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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