My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
