even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
