her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
