So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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