he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
