Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
