My brain says no but my pants say off.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
