I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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