you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
