The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
