so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
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this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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