I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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