No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
