Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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