Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
