bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
