What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
