Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
