Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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