i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
