He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
