first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Randomize
