My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize