i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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