I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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