Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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