Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
