i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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