My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize