How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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