Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
