I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
