38 yer olds are good kisserssss
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
