By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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