After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
