Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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