the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
