If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
