I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life