so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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