Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
