we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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