So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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